funny sayings about colleges

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

— Mark Twain

"Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated."

— G. B. Trudeau

"I noticed that almost everyone I went to college with has worked at something other than the subject they majored in. I guess that's one of the reasons for campus unrest."

— Kent McCord

"I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed."

— Bruce Lee

"Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates."

— A. Lawrence Lowell

"Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income—which he then spends sending his son to college."

— Bill Vaughn

"Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep."

— W. H. Auden

"Yes I'm a bum. But I'm a Harvard bum."

— Simon Wilder, character in With Honors

"If a man is a fool, you don't train him out of being a fool by sending him to university. You merely turn him into a trained fool, ten times more dangerous."

— Desmond Bagley